7 Tips and Tricks to Help You Make New Friends
Making friends when you have Asperger’s Syndrome can be a real challenge. You may feel like you are never going to have friends, or that you don’t even deserve friends. Trust me everyone has a least some kind of friendship in their life. There are some things however that can help you make friends easier.
If you want true friends you need to be honest with them. Do not put up a fake façade or pretend to like a subject just to earn friendship. People are attracted to people who are confident in themselves and are fun and unpredictable. When you are yourself you are drawing people into your life who like similar topics of conversation. It is practically scientific like attracts like.
When we smile, we become mindful and step out of our preoccupation. No matter how you connect with others, remember to smile. Whether you’re connecting face-to-face, or via Twitter, email, chat, Skype, or phone, your inner and outer smile will be felt by the person you are connecting with. Smiling is not simply a mouth movement. You smile with your eyes as well. You could have the biggest grin on your face but if your eyes don’t match it can come off as being fake or contemptable. Smiling can make someone else feel better instantly, not to mention smiling just makes you feel bubbly and social as well.
None of us is perfect, the last person who was perfect died two thousand years ago. Each of us have traits that make us difficult to live with. Especially those with Asperger’s can be trying at times. It is easier to focus on what is difficult. Instead, look for what is good and strong in your life. If you find that your negative self-talk has returned just count your blessings instead. Remind yourself how awesome and deserving you are of friends.
This can be hard for people with Asperger’s at times because we have so much to tell people and so few people to share it with. However if you go on about your favorite pokemon game and why it is the best for an hour. Your audience is bound to get bored. Take an interest in what the other person likes and is interested in. This always makes for an interesting discussion and it helps the other person feel heard. Being genuinely interested in people is a skill that is highly valued.
Even the most selfless Aspie on Earth has offended someone before, everyone has. So don’t let someone’s bad moments cause you to push them away and not befriend them. However, realize that every person, including yourself, has bad days, bad moments and faux pas instances. Be forgiving and understanding; most mess-ups can be corrected in terms of communicating and making friends provided you’re willing to move past initial feelings of dislike, outrage or disappointment.
I am a very big offender of not staying connected to my friends. I had a friend named eve once and I would talk to her on and off over a course of several months. In the last month of our friendship I did not speak to her for over a month and she was surprised when she got a text from me. She thought that I had finished the relationship. I am sure that to a lot of you with Asperger’s find it scary and difficult to text because there are so many variables you cannot account for when conversing face to face. It is scary but it is a major factor in making friends in today’s world. Texting is a new way to make friends. You can even have friends you never met face to face. Remember the way to keep friends in today’s world is to keep in contact with them as much as possible.
Be loving and happy person. This can be hard for many Aspies. We tend to be flat at times. Not showing emotion or being very personable. Fake it until you make it. Pretend to be happy go lucky , so that others are attracted to you and want to hang out with you. People who have the same interest like you, become your friends sooner. If you want to attract a person who is fun loving and energetic, you need to develop the same qualities.
These are my 7 Tips and Tricks to Help You Make New Friends. I have tried everything to make friends I know it seems impossible to make friends. However friendship is something that happens by accident. You cannot plan who your friends are, if that were true I would be friends with the three richest people on the planet. Friendship is a new concept even for me at the age of twenty one. Friendship has felt impossible most of my life. There were times I cried myself to sleep wishing I was normal because maybe then I could make friends but I realized that even though I was alone being different was way better than being normal. People who are different are destined for greatness. If you take these skills to heart you will be able to make friends. Don’t feel like you need to know every one of these skills right this minute. It takes time and practice. Practicing these skills can help you to have friends sooner rather than later.
7 Tips and Tricks to Help You Make New Friends